5 S’s for siblings
This blog post is dedicated to my bestie for life, you know who you are! I hope you find the following words helpful and encouraging as you prepare to bring home your sweet blessing!
Lainey girl LOVED helping with her new brother!
It is a common fear that most mamas experience as they are preparing to welcome their second child into their family…how will I love them enough? How will I divide my attention? Will baby #2 feel as loved as baby #1? All valid questions! I can assure you, that YES you will love that baby just as much as your first…its one of those things that you just don’t understand until you understand! Just like every pregnancy and labor and delivery is different, so it is with each baby. The things that comforted and calmed your first baby might not work- but you at least have the confidence and experience going into this second round! You know that the hard seasons will pass, you WILL sleep again, you will figure out your feeding routine, and hopefully you’ve learned how to ask for help! Aside from these assurances, I’ve put together my own 5 S’s list (you know like the 5 S’s for calming a baby? Swaddle, stomach/side, shush, swing, suck…I’ll have to write my own post on that!) but this time it’s for big brother or sister! These tips are my tried and true ways that I’ve welcomed a baby and navigated that new sibling relationship, all the while making sure my little ones felt loved and cared for…and fed!
SNACKS and SHOWS! Every time baby eats, and you just need your toddler or other child to be stationary and not getting into mischief, bust out some snacks! I stocked up on some favorites that we don’t always have in the house. This includes pre packed snack sizes and applesauce pouches that I typically shy away from, just to save a step! I also cut up lots of fruit and veggies to snack on and put them in kid friendly Tupperware for a few days at a time. And by I, I mean my husband or mom or sister or one of the other LOVELY people that fill in the gaps when I’ve had babies! This is also a great time to turn on a show. Even if screen time is normally limited in your house, this is a time to use that tool! (Credit to Susie at Busy Toddler for reminding us all that its okay to use screen time to make it through!) You might watch more shows than usual, but thats okay! This is only a season and you can get back to your regularly scheduled programming (haha I’m so sorry I had to!) soon!
STICKER BOOKS! Oh how my girl loved some sticker books! (And the matching/memory games!) I found quite a variety through a friend’s Usborne’s site (shoot me a message and I’ll hook you up!)…they have big “baby’s first sticker books” all the way to big kid sticker books! We made it a habit for my oldest to come to me in my bed during those first weeks home with baby when I was going to bed super early, we’d spread out a sticker book or matching game and spend 15-20 minutes of time together. Sometimes I was nursing, sometimes just holding babe, and sometimes it was just us, but she looked forward to those minutes together and it made me feel good knowing I was giving her something of myself when it felt like everything I had was going to the newborn.
SHARING! Let big brother or big sister in on the action! Refer to the new baby as “your baby” and “our baby”. Ask them to bring you a diaper or to help you “shh” or sing to baby. Give them their own baby doll to share in the routine with you! My kiddos loved pretending to nurse their babies and changing diapers! (We may have gone through a lot of extra wipes but thats a price I’m willing to pay!) They can do so much more than we often give them credit for and it will help them to not feel resentful of baby if they get to be a part of things! My older two still LOVE to help with “their baby”!
SPECIAL TIME…Just like I mentioned above, I carved out special time with my daughter at the end of every day. I tried to find little pockets here and there, but like everything else, it takes a village and this is when we can outsource! Ask a trusted friend to pick up big brother for a play date. Call Nonna or auntie to take them for a Chikfila breakfast and library date so you and dad can catch some extra sleep, just make sure to have them bring you back a chicken biscuit too! ;) They will feel so special to have some undivided attention on them in this phase of transition.
SUNSHINE! A good dose of Vitamin D does wonders for kiddos and mamas alike! You don’t need an elaborate picnic date in the park, you don’t have to pack snacks and sunscreen…just walk outside for a few minutes of fresh air and a change of scenery. Take five minutes to hunt for dandelions or watch for airplanes or count the red cars driving by! Getting outside is so underutilized! And while I know you might not be feeling your best or up to the normal playing and chasing and adventuring, know that you will get back there soon. Do what you can, with what you have, exactly where you are.
And then there were 3 Peace kiddos!
I wish you well growing your family sweet mama! Its going to be great. Its going to be messy, but oh so beautiful. It might feel different, it will definitely take some time to find your groove, but I can promise you, that love doesn’t divide, it multiplies.
